Yakcinjad is a god.

She takes the form of a small, generous coyote.

Yakcinjad created an up quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yakcinjad, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Yakcinjad, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Yakcinjad's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Yakcinjad's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never look at nebulae.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Seals are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Never feed wheat to grasshopers while wearing white shoes.