Beptofcuss is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, loving penguin.

Beptofcuss created the universe seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Beptofcuss, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Beptofcuss, it will not invite you to parties.

Beptofcuss' most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Beptofcuss' Holy Commandments

1. Beptofcuss must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Run away if six mites approach from the north.

3. Do not wear indigo clothing.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Never think about comets.