Somjinwod is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, overgenerous unicorn.

Somjinwod created matter two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Somjinwod, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Somjinwod, he will try to impress you with trees.

Somjinwod's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Somjinwod's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Run away from mauve foxes, for they are unholy.

4. Never wear brown shirts.

5. Do not listen to music.