Arthivzog is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, calm pigeon.

Arthivzog created the solar system seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Arthivzog, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Arthivzog, it will cry a lot.

Arthivzog's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Arthivzog's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your chest orange.

2. Ducks are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Always look after injured aardvarks.