Bapkimpig is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, weak armadillo.

Bapkimpig created the Sol system two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bapkimpig, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Bapkimpig, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Bapkimpig's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Bapkimpig's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate geese.

2. Do not laugh in public.

3. Never talk about ducks.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Do not covet oxen.