Jarndussmad is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, tranquil jellyfish.

Jarndussmad created the Sombrero Galaxy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jarndussmad, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Jarndussmad, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Jarndussmad's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Jarndussmad's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about gravity.

2. Erect a large lead sculpture of Jarndussmad on top of all buildings.

3. Never sing in holy places.

4. Do not shave your feet.

5. Run away if seven squirrels approach from the south.