Kanfedfar is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, capable bat.

Kanfedfar created the Black Eye Galaxy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kanfedfar, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Kanfedfar, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Kanfedfar's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Kanfedfar's Holy Commandments

1. Erect eight aluminium sculptures of Kanfedfar on top of important buildings.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Kanfedfar.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Never think about cell theory.

5. Do not chop down trees.