Bessbogtal is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, able spider.

Bessbogtal created the planet Earth three billion years ago.

If you believe in Bessbogtal, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Bessbogtal, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Bessbogtal's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Bessbogtal's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Put Bessbogtal first in all things.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Do not wear lead on your body.

5. Never look at nebulae.