Metrawloop is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, irritating aardvark.

Metrawloop created dark energy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Metrawloop, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Metrawloop, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Metrawloop's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Metrawloop's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Feed all hungry rats.

5. Do not eat wheat.