Miptofdam is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, compassionate fairy.

Miptofdam created Europe eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Miptofdam, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Miptofdam, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Miptofdam's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Miptofdam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Miptofdam loves nematodes, so they must be respected.

3. Always help aardvarks in need.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Miptofdam.

5. Never talk about fire.