Witpanpom is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, vain deer.

Witpanpom created Asia eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Witpanpom, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Witpanpom, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Witpanpom's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Witpanpom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Never think about amino acids.

3. Witpanpom loves monkeys, so they must be respected.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Always stare at clouds.