Fotappfut is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, selfish alligator.

Fotappfut created the universe five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fotappfut, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Fotappfut, he will try to impress you with trees.

Fotappfut's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Fotappfut's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Do not trade with those who eat peas.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Do not dye your hair brown.