Flagmabtetti is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, unfair tapir.

Flagmabtetti created humanity five million years ago.

If you believe in Flagmabtetti, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Flagmabtetti, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Flagmabtetti's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Flagmabtetti's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Flagmabtetti loves capybaras, so they must be respected.

3. Pray towards the east.

4. Do not drink water in yellow rooms.

5. Do not drink alcohol.