Quimjoncam is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, unfair lobster.

Quimjoncam created the Milkyway six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quimjoncam, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Quimjoncam, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Quimjoncam's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Quimjoncam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Never think ill of sick swans.

3. Do not take Quimjoncam's name in vain.

4. Quimjoncam must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Never talk about moons.