Legbidpidnat is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, resourceful guinea pig.

Legbidpidnat created bats five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Legbidpidnat, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Legbidpidnat, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Legbidpidnat's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Legbidpidnat's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Legbidpidnat.

2. Always help porpoises in need.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Do not run in public.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate frogs.