Ponmifdib is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, unfair wren.

Ponmifdib created water four years ago.

If you believe in Ponmifdib, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Ponmifdib, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Ponmifdib's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Ponmifdib's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear violet hats.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

5. Do not wear zinc on your body.