Midloopfossyon is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, dishonourable swallow.

Midloopfossyon created the planet Earth four million years ago.

If you believe in Midloopfossyon, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Midloopfossyon, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Midloopfossyon's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Midloopfossyon's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about comets.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Run away from brown birds, for they are unholy.

5. Do not trade with those who eat oranges.