Gubfotlag is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, happy mongoose.

Gubfotlag created a down quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gubfotlag, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Gubfotlag, it will turn you into a tree.

Gubfotlag's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Gubfotlag's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if five sharks approach from the west.

2. Put Gubfotlag first in all things.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. Always pray immersed in water.