Vonkmotort is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, fussy fox.

Vonkmotort created dark energy three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vonkmotort, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Vonkmotort, she will turn you into a duck.

Vonkmotort's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Vonkmotort's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce in holy places.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Always obey Vonkmotort's priests.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.