Ganyikcid is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, pitiless goblin.

Ganyikcid created a top quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ganyikcid, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Ganyikcid, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Ganyikcid's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Ganyikcid's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from magenta tapirs, for they are unholy.

2. You must love Ganyikcid.

3. Erect a large silver sculpture of Ganyikcid on top of all buildings.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Never write about stars.