Tabmadlunlimsasflan is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, pitiless parrot.

Tabmadlunlimsasflan created a top quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Tabmadlunlimsasflan, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Tabmadlunlimsasflan, she will destroy your home solar system.

Tabmadlunlimsasflan's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Tabmadlunlimsasflan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill voles.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Always make sure there are no snails in a room before entering it.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate turtles.