Kadceblatingcussflamrow is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, confident tortoise.

Kadceblatingcussflamrow created bats five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kadceblatingcussflamrow, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Kadceblatingcussflamrow, he will cry a lot.

Kadceblatingcussflamrow's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Kadceblatingcussflamrow's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear cyan clothing.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Do not take Kadceblatingcussflamrow's name in vain.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Kadceblatingcussflamrow.