Looptombug is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, stupid whale.

Looptombug created the world eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Looptombug, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Looptombug, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Looptombug's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Looptombug's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Always make sure there are no whales in a building before entering it.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Looptombug loves nematodes, so they must be honoured.

5. Hide if five tapirs approach from the north.