Futshavbin is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, vain gnu.

Futshavbin created silver nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Futshavbin, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Futshavbin, it will destroy your home planet.

Futshavbin's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Futshavbin's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Never write about planets.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Always help sick otters.