Hanpakfom is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, calm mouse.

Hanpakfom created dark energy four million years ago.

If you believe in Hanpakfom, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Hanpakfom, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Hanpakfom's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Hanpakfom's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Never wear rings.

3. Always make sure there are no sharks in a building before entering it.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never pour water over plants.