Figlampak is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, prudent crab.

Figlampak created humankind nine million years ago.

If you believe in Figlampak, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Figlampak, he will turn you into a worm.

Figlampak's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Figlampak's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

2. Do not speak about carrots.

3. Never wear pink trousers.

4. Never talk about gravity.

5. Never think about black holes.