Fenfodmap is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, omniscient shark.

Fenfodmap created Asia five billion years ago.

If you believe in Fenfodmap, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Fenfodmap, it will turn you into a worm.

Fenfodmap's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Fenfodmap's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce in the presence of great tits.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Fenfodmap.

3. Run away if nine porpoises approach from the west.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Always help sick nematodes.