Fidbess is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, compassionate manatee.

Fidbess created vertebrates two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fidbess, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Fidbess, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Fidbess' most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Fidbess' Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Fidbess on top of all buildings.

2. Never bounce near sharks.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Always treat goats with great respect.