Fadloopsidteen is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, omniscient hippopotamus.

Fadloopsidteen created humanity three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fadloopsidteen, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Fadloopsidteen, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Fadloopsidteen's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Fadloopsidteen's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into pink rooms.

2. Never look at black holes.

3. Feed all hungry badgers.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Never feed rice to porpoises while wearing gray kilts.