Yomkomgam is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, kind gorilla.

Yomkomgam created light two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yomkomgam, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Yomkomgam, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Yomkomgam's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Yomkomgam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your arms.

2. Do not eat gooseberries.

3. Always look after injured turtles.

4. Hide from blue mice for they are unholy.

5. Never play with disobedient children.