Lopxenpib is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, awe-inspiring hare.

Lopxenpib created bats five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lopxenpib, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Lopxenpib, she will turn you into a rat.

Lopxenpib's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Lopxenpib's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your feet.

2. Never hurt snakes.

3. You must love Lopxenpib.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Lopxenpib.

5. Never wear shirts.