Gabjipvan Veggankim is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, impressive dingo.

Gabjipvan Veggankim created the Milkyway two million years ago.

If you believe in Gabjipvan Veggankim, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Gabjipvan Veggankim, it will turn you into a puffin.

Gabjipvan Veggankim's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Gabjipvan Veggankim's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Gabjipvan Veggankim.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Never wear scarves.

4. Never talk about seals.

5. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.