Fastailtimgig is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, passionate goat.

Fastailtimgig created a down quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fastailtimgig, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Fastailtimgig, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Fastailtimgig's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Fastailtimgig's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lentils to grasshopers while wearing orange tights.

2. You must love Fastailtimgig.

3. Never wear turquoise kilts.

4. Never think about galaxies.

5. Always make sure there are no voles in a room before entering it.