Saftapcun is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, all-powerful octopus.

Saftapcun created dark matter two years ago.

If you believe in Saftapcun, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Saftapcun, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Saftapcun's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Saftapcun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Never talk about rats.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. You must pray to Saftapcun five times a day.