Bigkanhin Xuckdosstikvinlabsom is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, wise bear.

Bigkanhin Xuckdosstikvinlabsom created the Milkyway two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bigkanhin Xuckdosstikvinlabsom, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Bigkanhin Xuckdosstikvinlabsom, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Bigkanhin Xuckdosstikvinlabsom's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Bigkanhin Xuckdosstikvinlabsom's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed aubergines to grasshopers while wearing pink skirts.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Erect five tin sculptures of Bigkanhin Xuckdosstikvinlabsom on top of important buildings.