Janwapwipgeb is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, wise raccoon.

Janwapwipgeb created the Large Magellanic Cloud nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Janwapwipgeb, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Janwapwipgeb, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Janwapwipgeb's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Janwapwipgeb's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in mauve rooms.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Never wear violet coats.