Yatpadbuswat is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, competent hummingbird.

Yatpadbuswat created a photon two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yatpadbuswat, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Yatpadbuswat, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Yatpadbuswat's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Yatpadbuswat's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Worship no other gods but Yatpadbuswat.