Badsawpin is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, uncaring lobster.

Badsawpin created humankind eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Badsawpin, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Badsawpin, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Badsawpin's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Badsawpin's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about gravity.

2. Never wear turquoise shorts.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Badsawpin.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Badsawpin.

5. Never eat garlic.