Kabpomjatflan is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, benevolent porpoise.

Kabpomjatflan created the Cigar Galaxy five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kabpomjatflan, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Kabpomjatflan, she will curse you with boils.

Kabpomjatflan's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Kabpomjatflan's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Put Kabpomjatflan first in all things.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.

4. You must pray to Kabpomjatflan eight times a day.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.