Kikzim is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, fast whale.

Kikzim created Europe six million years ago.

If you believe in Kikzim, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Kikzim, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Kikzim's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Kikzim's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about asteroids.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Do not wear tin on your body.

4. You must never eat gooseberries.

5. Never feed peas to hamsters while wearing white ear rings.