Lipnurtnat is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, clever lobster.

Lipnurtnat created the Small Magellanic Cloud six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lipnurtnat, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Lipnurtnat, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Lipnurtnat's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Lipnurtnat's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Tortoises are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Never sit near aardvarks.

5. Never jump in holy places.