Xencanbablad is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, unjust grasshopper.

Xencanbablad created the planet Venus seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Xencanbablad, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Xencanbablad, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Xencanbablad's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Xencanbablad's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Hamsters are not to be trusted.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.