Battunbut is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, merciful swallow.

Battunbut created oxygen five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Battunbut, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Battunbut, she will turn you into a plant.

Battunbut's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Battunbut's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Never wear corsets.

3. Never laugh in the presence of doves.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Battunbut.

5. Do not stand on grass.