Vinparkdiss is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, stupid lion.

Vinparkdiss created vertebrates seven million years ago.

If you believe in Vinparkdiss, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Vinparkdiss, he will turn you into a rock.

Vinparkdiss' most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Vinparkdiss' Holy Commandments

1. Hide if nine ants approach from the south.

2. Do not dye your hair cyan.

3. Always obey Vinparkdiss' priests.

4. Do not take Vinparkdiss' name in vain.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.