Nulpogtun is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, competent lizard.

Nulpogtun created a strange quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nulpogtun, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Nulpogtun, he will think nothing of it.

Nulpogtun's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Nulpogtun's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Run away from fawn cats, for they are unholy.

3. Never write about stars.

4. Always help sick pigs.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.