Cadcenpang is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, fussy dryad.

Cadcenpang created Asia five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cadcenpang, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Cadcenpang, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Cadcenpang's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Cadcenpang's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Always help great tits in need.

3. Never feed wheat to doves while wearing black hats.

4. Never eat parsnips.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.