Tigbemxuck is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, idiotic goblin.

Tigbemxuck created the Sun three billion years ago.

If you believe in Tigbemxuck, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Tigbemxuck, she will turn you into a goat.

Tigbemxuck's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Tigbemxuck's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Do not speak about corn.

3. Never think about gravity.

4. Always help sick goats.

5. Never hurt manatees.