Kemlanflowbun is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, contented monkey.

Kemlanflowbun created silver seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kemlanflowbun, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Kemlanflowbun, it will have a low opinion of you.

Kemlanflowbun's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Kemlanflowbun's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear scarves.

2. Pray towards the south.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Never play with disobedient children.