Vabmiddumneltitlakgan Hinwit is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, boastful goblin.

Vabmiddumneltitlakgan Hinwit created the cosmos seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vabmiddumneltitlakgan Hinwit, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Vabmiddumneltitlakgan Hinwit, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Vabmiddumneltitlakgan Hinwit's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Vabmiddumneltitlakgan Hinwit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Never think about asteroids.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Always help squirrels in need.