Kambodlig is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, ill-tempered scorpion.

Kambodlig created carbon two years ago.

If you believe in Kambodlig, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Kambodlig, she will think nothing of it.

Kambodlig's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Kambodlig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Kambodlig loves doves, so they must be honoured.

4. Never run in holy places.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.